


“It takes a great deal of courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it.”

by notjustmom



Series: “Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.” [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, M/M, Oscar Wilde - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 09:32:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14713542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom





	“It takes a great deal of courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it.”

There were times as John held Sherlock in his arms after a difficult case, or just through a dark mood, when he wondered how he kept looking, kept seeing, searching for those puzzles that allowed him to function as he did. Sheer stubbornness, he supposed, as he wrapped a single raven curl around his finger. He felt more than heard Sherlock sigh, and he realized it wasn't stubbornness, that made him keep looking. 

He bent his head down closer to Sherlock's ear and whispered, "you're so very brave, love."

"No. I'm not." Sherlock mumbled against him.

"You could so easily look away, turn from it, people are always going to be who they are, whether you witness it or not, you don't have to take it all on as you do."

"But, I do, John."

"Why?"

Sherlock went so quiet that John thought for a moment that he had finally fallen asleep, but after a few minutes, he uncurled from John's arms and sat up to face him. He laid his hands on John's face and kissed him gently, then pulled away. "Because you exist. I know there is good in the world because you exist, John. No one else will look at the ugliness as I do, see it for what it is. I have to treat it as a problem, something solveable, a puzzle, and even then, it can sometimes become more than even I can tolerate. But, because I have this, you, my safe place - I know that there are people like you, like me, well, perhaps not like me, but, people like us, there must be others, who need people like me who choose to look at what most people shy away from... it isn't courage, John. I do it because I know of no other way. If I turned away - if I can't see the worst of what people are capable of, then I don't deserve to come home to you, to your love. I have to love the world, as broken as it is, because somehow, it gave me you, and I'm still not quite convinced that I deserve you." He closed his mouth and began to turn away. "If I am brave, John, it is only because you make me so. And now, I need tea, or something stronger -"

John reached out for him, pulling him close once more into his arms and felt him let out a shuddering sob. "I'll always be your safe place, love, always." He kissed the wild mop of curls and wondered at the tears that were falling down his own face; they had never been good at this kind of thing - words sometimes left deeper marks than the scars they both carried. His thoughts were interrupted by a soft snore; he chuckled quietly to himself, then buried his nose into the dark curls and breathed in deeply. "Always, love."


End file.
